Behind These Hazel Eyes
by MoonlitKaitou
Summary: Shizuka is not the same anymore not after her husbands death, not after Seto left her. She doesn't know how to cope with the pain anymore, but she promises not to cry anymore, promises not to be weak but promises were meant to be broken. Oneshot SxS fic


_**Authoress Notes: **Hello everybody:) I'm finally updating after so long! Whelp this is my next wonderful one-shot for SetoxSerenity/ Shizuka and hopefully everyone that's reading this will like it. _

_For other people who are reading my other Silentshipping stories I will be updating them soon I promise!_

_Anyway I hope that all of you will like this one-shot even though it's sad!_

* * *

_**Behind These Hazel Eyes**_

_SetoxShizuka _

_By: Sorceress Vanessa_

* * *

_**Seems just like yesterday, you were a part of me**_

_**I used to stand so tall; I used to be so strong**_

_**Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right**_

_**Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong**_

_**Now I can't breathe, now I can't sleep**_

_**I'm barely hanging on**_

A young woman sat on her bedside and looked down at the floor curling herself up in a little ball as she hugged her knees tightly to herself.

Hazel eyes unblinking, she sat there with no emotion written on her face what so ever as she rocked back and forth slowly, her long auburn hair swaying lightly with the movements she made.

Kaiba Shizuka was her name at the age of 23 and is or used to be married to someone very special.

And that someone used to be Kaiba Seto, the famous cold hearted, sexy, very hot snob and CEO of Kaiba Corporations.

To Shizuka everything in her life was ruined; everything. She didn't know what to do anymore as she just sat there trying to deal with everything, trying to cope with the feelings all bottled within her.

Things didn't used to be like this… Shizuka and Seto were the happiest of couples in Domino and neither of them had a care in the world, they were inseparable and loved each other too the point that they would do anything for each other.

But this time Shizuka had no clue what to do, except to sit there and do nothing. It had been two weeks since the tragedy and yet she still could not get over what had happened. It was very painful, her heart ached all the time and she never wanted to do anything with anybody.

Her brother Jounouchi along with his and her friends tried to do everything they could to get her to do something, anything! But all she would do was mope around the house, talk to herself at night, but never sleep.

She couldn't sleep, not after what had happened. It was just too hard for her and whenever she tried too she would just stay up anyway.

Deep circles were under her eyes as she blinked once but still showed no emotion on her face as she whimpered a bit in sadness trying so hard not to cry.

_Why did you leave me Seto, you used to be there for me, you made me feel so strong and not so puny when you were around. Everyone knew us and loved us; we used to be everything together but now that you're gone… I feel like you took half of me with you. _

_I loved you and I know you loved me back for reasons unknown to anyone, but me. You cared for me like you probably wouldn't do for anyone else, except for Mokuba. _

_It hurts Seto, the pain in my heart is unbearable to the point I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't cry anymore but the pain is still there and it won't go away. I'm lost in the darkness and I can't find the light and I still wish you were there to help me, but this time I know you can't help me and I know that you'll never be able to help me, but I want you back… I need you for everything. _

_**Here I am, once again**_

_**I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend**_

_**Just thought you were the one**_

_**Broken up, deep inside**_

_**But you won't get to see the tears I cry**_

_**Behind these hazel eyes**_

Shizuka let out a little sob and got up as sadness filled her face, her eyes filling with crystalline tears, but she shook them away quickly and slowly got onto her feet as she looked outside to see the snow falling down in the darkness of the night.

She blinked a few times as she walked outside her door and slowly closed it to make sure she would not wake up her brother and Mokuba.

Tip toeing slightly she walked down the stairs of the mansion and outside into the snow of which stuck to the ground. She looked up towards the darkened clouds looming over her as she wrapped her arms around herself, remembering the day when they went on their first date. Something she would not forget for it was something that wasn't very planned out well…

_**- - - F L A S H B A C K - - -**_

_Shizuka waited outside of the restaurant patiently for her boyfriend Kaiba Seto as he paid for the people inside. She was so excited, their first date was going nicely so far and the food here was delicious! _

"_Ready to go?" A voice said that sent chills right through her body as she turned around and saw Seto behind her smiling. _

_Shizuka nodded a little as Seto snaked his arm around her waist, both of them walking to their next destination, the park. _

"_Seto, do you think my brother will approve of us going out?" Shizuka asked slightly worried. _

_Neither she nor Kaiba had told Jou about them going out even though they had just gotten together about a week ago. Shizuka was afraid to tell her brother for he did not like Kaiba and well probably would break the two up immediately if he probably knew about them. _

_Kaiba just hadn't told him because he was just waiting for the right time to do it. _

_Kaiba looked down at her and sighed, "Probably not but I'll make him see that you and I want to be together and that it doesn't matter what he wants, but what you want."_

_Shizuka felt so lucky to have him. He always knew what to do in really hard situations and she always felt so right when she was with him. They were the perfect couple in her mind. _

"_**SHIZUKA?" **_

_Shizuka's thoughts were interrupted as she opened her eyes wide when she heard that voice only belonging to one person she knew all to well. _

_Jounouchi. _

_She turned her head around to find Seto already doing the same, seeing a very angered and very confused Jou standing with Yuugi, Yami, Anzu, and Mai trying to stop the very outraged teenager. Honda and Duke were just too shocked to do anything. _

_Shizuka gasped lightly in surprise and in fear for what was going to happen as Seto kind of stood in front of her trying to protect her. If Jounouchi was going to take Shizuka with him then he had to go through him to get to her first. _

"_Moneybags ge' away from ma sista!" Jou shouted trying to free himself from everybody's grip as Kaiba smirked a little. _

"_For your information mu-…" Shizuka gave him the death glare of his life as he sighed. "Jou, Shizuka and I were just going to the park to finish the rest of our date and you're kind of interrupting." _

_See, Shizuka hated it whenever Seto called Jou a mutt, so she decided to try and get him over it and make him call Jou by his real name… or his last name in this situation. Seto didn't know that Katsuya was Jou's real name. _

"_**DATE?"**_

_Shizuka knew this was going to happen, why didn't Jou just understand her? She wasn't his baby little sister anymore but a grown women. _

"_JOU!"_

_Everyone turned their attention towards Shizuka who looked angry and was clenching her fists, her voice tight and strong, "Jou, I may still be your little sister, but I am a grown woman now and I want to be treated like one! Look at me! I am allowed to date who I want when I want, I don't need your permission and I don't need you trying to kill him!"_

_Shizuka took a breath and continued, "Just because he may be an old rival to you doesn't mean that I shouldn't be allowed to date him! Seto is my boyfriend and that's the way it's going to be unless I decide I don't want him to be, got it?"_

_Everyone's mouths were wide open n shock; even Kaiba was shocked by his girlfriend's actions. She's never once spoken like that to her brother so what was up with the huge change?_

_Kaiba didn't realize that it was just him that gave Shizuka the courage to stand up to her brother. _

_**- - - E N D F L A S H B A C K - - -**_

"That date went so terribly at the end…" Shizuka said, trying to make humor from that piece of memory but not working out to well as she folded her arms around herself to keep warm.

"I won't cry Seto, not anymore I promise. I promised you that I wouldn't even as much as this hurts me, I won't let you see my tears…"

_**I told you everything, opened up and let you in**_

_**You made me feel alright, for once in my life**_

_**Now all that's left of me, is what I pretend to be**_

_**So together, but so broken up inside**_

_**Cause I can't breathe, no I can't sleep**_

_**I'm barely hanging on**_

Shizuka continued her walk, the wind blowing against her silky nightgown, clinging to her body as she shivered. White foggy breath was shown before her mouth as she breathed hard, her feet cold and numb as she walked on the cotton snow, tripping over her feet once in a while, but continuing on in the harsh cold winter storm.

_I had a happy life with Jou Seto, but with you everything was different. I felt happy with no pressure on me all of time with my brother lurking around. In a way I guess you could say I felt free; you helped me out of a fierce storm and into the light, but Seto I'm stuck in that storm again. I'm lonely and can't find my true self. I've lost myself when I lost you and now everything just seems to be a figment of my imagination, a world that I don't want to be real. _

Shizuka let out a sob of pain, not only physically, but mentally. She told Seto everything, opened up to him and he made her feel like she wasn't alone in life. He understood everything that she had been through for he had experienced many troubles like she did, maybe even worse, but all in all they were the same in an odd way.

_Seto, I feel so bad… I can't stay strong for you. I'm not the same person as I used to be and it's hurting everyone and what's worse is that I'm not giving myself a chance to move on. I don't want to though, I want to feel your touch, I want to you to kiss me and hold me like you used to and tell me everything will be alright. _

Shizuka let out another sob, but held in the tears, "A promise is a promise though Seto… I won't cry, but I can't find the strength to move on; I'm such a weakling…"

_**Here I am, once again**_

_**I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend**_

_**Just thought you were the one**_

_**Broken up, deep inside**_

_**But you wont get to see the tears I've cried**_

_**Behind these hazel eyes**_

Shizuka stopped for a moment to look around her surroundings, the wind blowing her long auburn hair made everything hard to see but it didn't matter. She knew she was close to her destination and not even this weather could stop her from getting to where she wanted to be the most. The only truthful place she felt at home.

_I don't deny anything Seto, you can already see I'm a mess without you, everybody is but even Mokuba isn't making as big of a deal as I am over you… maybe he is and he's dealing with it differently. Oh Seto, why couldn't you stay, I really thought… I truthfully thought you would be here for me forever, but I was blinded by a veil like I am now; born to follow lies I want to be real. _

_Everywhere I look, everywhere I go is just an image of you. You haunt me Seto and it tears me up, I can't go anywhere without you being there with me. I want the pain to end, so badly I want it to end, but when will that be? When will I decide to let you go and move on? _

"If I cry, would you be mad Seto?"

Shizuka bit her lip and continued her walk, people that were out this late stared at her but she ignored them. She didn't care anymore what people thought of her or did she? She didn't know anymore, she was so lost that she didn't even know if she would be able to find her way out anymore.

_**Swallow me, then spit me out**_

_**For hating you, I blame myself**_

_**Seeing you, it kills me now**_

_**No, I don't cry on the outside anymore**_

_**Anymore**_

_I'm sorry Seto, sometimes I want to blame you for leaving. For making me the way I am now, for hurting everybody, but I know it's not your fault, you never did any of this. This is all our doing, this is our way to cope with the pain of your loss, though Its not a really great way. _

Shizuka realized she was there as she stopped and looks over to see the gates open to the graveyard. She walked in slowly; glancing around as she shivered. A place of cold death, she used to think graveyards were a great place, a place of sanctuary but to her now it was a cruel world.

_**- - - F L A S H B A C K - - -**_

"_Seto!" Shizuka yelled as she ran to her boyfriend and gave him a huge hug as she smiled down at her. _

"_Shizuka, what are you doing here in the graveyard?" _

"_Well if you want to know the truth," Shizuka looked up at him. "It's because I come here to read my books every Sunday. It's a really quiet and peaceful place, no one disturbs you here."_

_Shizuka held up a fantasy book to show her truth behind her words, but set it down quickly and ran to the nearest bench. She patted the seat next to her when she sat down and waited for Seto. She didn't need to ask Seto why he was here, she had a clue of why. _

_Seto lifted up her chin and planted a soft kiss on her lips, "Well I'm glad that I can see you today…"_

_Shizuka smiled and nodded, a blush forming over her cheeks as she giggled a little. She couldn't help herself, Seto still made he feel all goofy inside even after they had been dating for about two years now. _

"_Seto… I- …"_

_Seto placed a finger over her lips as Shizuka looked at him curiously, tilting her head to one side. Why did he silence her?_

"_Listen, I've been meaning to do this for a while, but a lot of things had come up and many problems so I never found the time. I have a very special gift for you and I hope you accept it from me."_

_Seto took her hand and led her over to a Sakura tree and they both sat down and looked at each other in the eyes. Pink petals dropped lightly to the ground around them as Seto took out a box and opened it to show Shizuka a diamond ring. Crystalline tears were immediately brought to her eyes as she gasped and Seto looked at her with a slight shyness, "Will you marry me?"_

_Shizuka held her hand up to her mouth as the tears fell down her face, "Oh Seto! Yes, yes I will!"_

_After he placed the ring on her she threw herself into his arms as she cried and he whispered softly into her ear, "Forever I will always be with you Shizuka, no matter what happens."_

_**- - - E N D F L A S H B A C K - - -**_

_A day and a promise that I will never forget Seto, a promise that was broken easily…_

_**Here I am, once again**_

_**I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend**_

_**Just thought you were the one**_

_**Broken up, deep inside**_

_**But you wont get to see the tears I cry**_

_**Behind these hazel eyes**_

Shizuka stopped and slowly sat down in front of a large stone, not caring that her gown or even she was covered in the cold powdery snow. Upon the stone was the name Kaiba Seto, the man she loved laying only beneath her in an eternal sleep.

She touched the stone with loving care, "Seto…"

Tears came to her eyes again and this time she didn't make an attempt the wipe them away. Shizuka took a letter out of her pocket, damp with the snow falling on it and turning into water and set it down slowly on the stone in front of her, putting a rock on top of it so that it wouldn't fly away.

She sniffled and smiled her first real smile, "Maybe it's time to move on now…"

She silently cried and soon broke down into wails as she laid her head on top of Seto's stone and cried hard, her tears falling on the letter which was entitled Kaiba, Seto.

"Promises… w-were meant to be broken Seto…" She gasped out, crying harder. "B-but I don't… I don't care If I'm weak b-because to you I'm strong…"

Shizuka kissed the letter and fell asleep next to her husband's stone.

Tears silently still fell from her face as she grabbed the letter tightly in her hand, mumbling a little in her sleep, "Seto…"

_**Here I am, once again**_

_**I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend**_

_**Just thought you were the one**_

_**Broken up, deep inside**_

_**But you wont get to see the tears I cry**_

_**Behind these hazel eyes**_

_Dear Seto_

_Maybe I don't need to send this letter, but I feel like I need to, though you probably hear me talking to you in my thoughts all the time. You know I love you very much, to the point I won't let you out of my life yet, but someday I will I promise. It hurts me, knowing that you still haunt my mind, knowing that I'm hurting everyone else because of the way I'm acting, but like I said I promise for myself to regain my strength just give me more time. Like I promised not to cry anymore too, I haven't cried over you for a long time, even as much as I want to but you know you can trust me, right?_

_Mokuba misses you a lot to, I hear him every night crying in his sleep, calling out to you. He's hurting a lot Seto, but I promise to take care of him like you would want me too, I'll be a good guardian, I won't let you down. _

_Even Jou misses you; odd as it is for me to actually say but it's true. He's always yelling at you for hurting me, but again he knows it's not your fault. We all just want the pain to end, but it's going to take sometime for us to heal. The wounds are still here; pretty deep but give us more time ok Seto? Maybe even watch over us and help us heal, that would be nice. _

_Memories of you stay with me, our first date, actually all of our dates, when you proposed to me, our wedding day, and many more that were funny an interesting. Especially when Jou handed me away to you, do you remember that? So funny, he almost strangled you, took forever to keep him at bay. That wedding took forever till we actually kissed. I still laugh at the end, well kind of. Not so much anymore._

_Seto, this may be the only letter I'll ever write to you, but I don't think you care, I bet you'd rather talk to me as I'm talking to you in my thoughts. _

_Promises were meant to be broken though Seto, hopefully my promises will never be broken. Crying will make me weak, more weak than I already am and if I didn't take good care of Mokuba, then the end of the world might actually befall me. _

_Though it's not the end of the world yet, but I'm still stuck in darkness with very little light around me, but like I said soon I will find my way out, just need more time for the pain to disappear. _

_I love you Seto and always will, you know that right? I hope so and I will always be with you, promise me that you will always watch over your friends, Mokuba and me? Good bye…_

_Shizuka_

_P.S. - Much love and remember, promises were meant to be broken…_


End file.
